FCC harasses musicians with arbitrary rulings

Saturday, June 4, 2005

Elvis Costello was right: "You better do as you are told; listen to your radio!"

First Tipper Gore got parental advisory stickers on CDs she would never buy. That was OK; it increased sales. Then Clear Channel banned the Dixie Chicks for dissing G.W. This was not OK, because it was abuse of power that frightened other influential musicians, silencing their political views.

Then a few prudes in Florida complained that someone farted on the Howard Stern show. Instead of saying "Change the channel," the Federal Communications Commission banned all bodily function noises from radio and voted to fine the artists. Poverty-level musicians are subject to the same fines as huge corporations. If the artists can't pay, they are put in jail -- for farting.

Black Eyed Peas are on the radio singing "Don't Phunk With My Heart," except the voice mysteriously says "Don't mess with my heart" instead. "Phunk" sounded too much like swearing for the FCC. They should post words that "sound" like swearing so we know which to avoid. Independent musicians can't afford the FCC fines. Fines to personal broadcasters for indecency are up to half a million dollars, while those funding terrorists are only $25,000.

TV can have toilet humor and sex jokes, because you can change the channel. Send a message to the FCC by listening only to radio stations that aren't putting musicians in jail for natural bodily functions and making up swear words to censor music.

Lynn Julian

Augusta

GirlsRock@CookieCutterGirl.com